Find the Words.

Sometimes, I just can't find the words to say.
It's like for a split second I've lost the ability to say what I want.
Talking is something that I do more than some people.
I guess it's a gift.
When I talk about certain subjects, I find it hard to really say what is on my mind.
I like to close certain parts of what I want to say off so I can't say harsh words.
When I know I should speak up, I can't find the courage to be that "fearless talker" that some say I am.
I want this to change.
That's one reason I started to blog I guess.
I could vent out everything I wanted to without really caring what people said because I could just delete the comment or rewrite something if that's not what I had meant it to say.
Life isn't exactly like that.
I can't take back the things I wish I wouldn't have said.
I can't delete the comments of what people have said to me.
I can't edit any of it.
I guess that's what makes life, well, life.
I wonder a lot what my life would be like if I could do those things.
Endless possibilities.
Since I can't "edit" my life, I have to live with what has made me who I am.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing, don't get me wrong.
I think it just helps me to realize how to handle certain situations, what to say and not to say, and just improve.
I'm glad that God has made it this way.
Each day I learn something new.
I'm able to use what I gain towards others.
Even though I wish somethings were different or that I didn't do certain things, I wouldn't change it.
Each is a part of what's made me to who I am and what I do.
I'm human.
I know I'll screw up more times than considerable, but I know that no matter what it will make me stronger.
I am who I am and I have to make that clear.
I may not be able to find the words to say, but don't underestimate what you don't know.
I am Shelby and that can never be changed.