Psalms.

Psalms is hands down my favorite book of the Bible.
It may be the longest, but it's well worth it.
Every verse I read can apply to my life in some sort of fashion.
Psalm 139:14 is my life verse.
"I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Every time I read that verse, I smile.
I AM fearfully and wonderfully made by Gods standards.
He created me in this image, and I have to do everything I can to be the best Shelby I can be.
His works are SO wonderful.
They touch and mold my life into what it's meant to be.
I know they are.
He has put me in a certain place for a certain reason.
I haven't exactly figured everything out and I probably never will, but I know for a fact that all the things that he is doing in my life right at this moment will forever be here and work out to show me things that I will eventually understand.
"My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge."
Psalm 62:7 explains so much for me.
If it wasn't for him, where would I be?
Everything I know, lived for, and will continue to live for, is God.
He made my past the way it is.
Everything in it happened for a reason.
He holds my future.
He holds my life in His mighty hands.
My life is built on Him.
He is where I turn to when I can't handle anything.
He is where I look to when everything is stress-free.
In Psalm 46, He says to be still and know that He is God.
He wants us to never forget who he is.
He is our God.
There is no other.
He created us in such an awesome imagine.
For He is my God, whom shall I fear?

I know I say this all too much, but I honestly don't know how I could live without Him.
He's given me so much and I take it for granted.
"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." -Psalm 90:12
I usually end up asking myself questions.
"Why am I so ignorant?"
"Why can't things be different?"
"Why did these things happen to me?"
"When will this happen?"
"Can you hear me?"
The last question is one I say the most often.
Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to a ceiling or my steering wheel.
Yeah, it's silly, but it's the truth.
I end up yelling at inanimate objects and looking like a huge lunatic.
I've come to the realization that yes, I am a little bit crazy and that I'm okay with it.
I know that regardless of what I say, He hears me even when I think otherwise.
Psalm 73:25-28.
Holy bananas.
Can you believe that?
I will fail, that's just it!
I stay near You and take refuge in You, You will protect me.
You are my refuge and I will tell the world of Your works.
I am so unworthy of His mercy and grace but He gives it to me.
People may get sick of hearing that saying, but my heart will continue to shout it with joy.

Psalm 113.
Praise the Lord.

The Days That Slow Down.

Some days just seem to drag on forever.

Others pass by before I can grasp what's going on.
The older we get, the faster time slips through my fingers.
Looking back at the things that I've done and what I've been through is kind of difficult to grasp.
I'm very nostalgic (if you haven't noticed).
I really can't help it.
I love remembering things.
It's kind of like a game for me.
I put the pieces together.
If something doesn't feel right or someone tells me something different, I try to put it together and figure out what's REALLY going on.

I keep focused on what matters.
If it doesn't jump out at me or affect me in some way, then I'm not going to worry about it.
That's why days go faster.
I try to put my attention on the "now" and process it.
Kind of like a memory card...minus the "erase" option.
Looking through old pictures and things of the sort, I don't know whether to be happy or thankful.
Or both for that matter.

I have those times where I remember those days and smile about it.
I also have those moments where I wish I had an "erase" button to completely forget it ever happened.

No matter how hard I seemed to try, I always remember.
The reason why?
Well, it impacted me.
Just because I don't like what happened doesn't mean I forget it.
Bad pieces remind me why I am the way I am.
I know I say that [previous] phrase all too often, but it's true.

I wouldn't be the same without it.
Dragging days are just part of life.
I seem to face them all to often, or so I feel like I do.
Take joy in the days that aren't so great.
Take joy in the moments where time feels like time is going to slow.
He gives us each of those moments.
We need to make the most of them.
Time will pass, days will feel like weeks, and things won't ever be completely the way you think, but I can promise that if you begin to focus on what God is doing, you will make the most of everyday.
He's no father time; He IS the Father of ALL.

Late Introduction.

I never really introduced myself.
Well, I mean, hopefully you would have figured out that my name is Shelby.
But you can call me Shelbs, Slinny, or Wall-E.
Nonetheless, I should've talked a little bit more about myself and what has got me to where I am.

I'm a (as of when I'm writing this) 19 year old gal from a small town in West Texas.
I go to Texas A&M and absolutely love it.
I blog about what's on my mind really.
I would describe myself as an awkward, but perfectly placed girl.
What I mean by that is I've got brown, naturally curly hair, green eyes, and a very different personality.
I've been told I'm not ordinary, which I find describes me to the point of where it can become weird.
I'm tall.
I have two different sized feet.
Second child of four.
Obsession with nail polish, YouTube, Bath & Body Works, and music (except rap...I can't take it).
I love Supernatural.
Charles and Alli Trippy are some of the biggest inspirations in my life.
I've seen each Star Wars episode at least 3 times (some more than that, but I still get that awe as if that was my first time seeing it).
I drive a tiny car.
I love frogs, owls, and peacocks.
I gave my life to Jesus Christ about 12 years ago (which was the BEST decision of my life).

Growing up in a small town, then moving to a HUGE college is tremendously hard.
Quick flashback to when I was in High School.......
I seriously HATED it.
With a passion.
I counted the years, then months, then days until graduation.
Freshmen year.
Woah, that was an interesting year.
My older sister, Kaleigh, was a senior at the time.
She was also valedictorian of her class.
That in itself was hard for me because I always felt like EVERYONE was expecting that from me.
Which didn't happen (but you'll read more about that later).
It was hard having to live up to that, so I didn't.
My sophomore year was probably one of the most awkward for me.
I wore glasses, had braces, usually had my hair in a bun, and usually wore things twice my size.
Yeah, go ahead, I give you permission to laugh at me.
It was pretty wicked.
What some people don't know is that I was also struggling with a lot of stuff.
Things just never seemed to go right.
My junior year was a little different.
March of that year (2010), I got my braces taken off, a haircut, and new glasses...in a day.
I went back to school completely different.
Things began to change.
People were beginning to notice me.
It felt weird.
I had never really known that feeling and honestly, sometimes it still freaks me out.
MOVING ONWARD!
Senior Year.
The supposedly "Best Year of Your Life".
HA!
Try one of the worst, at least for me.
I mean, apart from being Flag Captain for two years, and mascot for one (which at times I REALLY hated doing, but it made others happy and that's what mattered), there really wasn't anything here for me.
If you asked my parents and people who knew me pretty well, they would've told you that I was counting the days to leave.
Graduation came (finally....).
One of the happiest days of my life.
Grabbing my diploma, flashing a smile, and thanking God that I survived.
That summer was kinda rough and busy.
About that time, I fell away from my relationship with God (I wouldn't want to go to church, bible studies, wouldn't touch my bible, nothing).
Well, it was kinda terrible.
One of the roughest time of my life.
After realizing how stupid I was, I aimed for change.
Summer passed and I started to grow that relationship with Him back (mostly thanks to Impact, my amazing leaders, awesome friends, and fully to our gracious God).
Fast Forward back to now.
I know what [some] of my flaws are, but I also know God loves me the way I am.
I have an amazing and super supportive family.
The best bunch of friends that I could ever imagine.
All these things just because God made it this way.
God didn't HAVE to give them to me, but He did.
HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!
I've learned that this moment, right now, is what matters.

The Now.
Not the Then.
Now.
He's still teaching me everyday how to grow.
I still make stupid mistakes, that probably will never change.
I'm human.
I'm Shelby.
That won't change.
I promise.
My height might, but I won't.
I'll always be Shelby.

Find the Words.

Sometimes, I just can't find the words to say.
It's like for a split second I've lost the ability to say what I want.
Talking is something that I do more than some people.
I guess it's a gift.
When I talk about certain subjects, I find it hard to really say what is on my mind.
I like to close certain parts of what I want to say off so I can't say harsh words.
When I know I should speak up, I can't find the courage to be that "fearless talker" that some say I am.
I want this to change.
That's one reason I started to blog I guess.
I could vent out everything I wanted to without really caring what people said because I could just delete the comment or rewrite something if that's not what I had meant it to say.
Life isn't exactly like that.
I can't take back the things I wish I wouldn't have said.
I can't delete the comments of what people have said to me.
I can't edit any of it.
I guess that's what makes life, well, life.
I wonder a lot what my life would be like if I could do those things.
Endless possibilities.
Since I can't "edit" my life, I have to live with what has made me who I am.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing, don't get me wrong.
I think it just helps me to realize how to handle certain situations, what to say and not to say, and just improve.
I'm glad that God has made it this way.
Each day I learn something new.
I'm able to use what I gain towards others.
Even though I wish somethings were different or that I didn't do certain things, I wouldn't change it.
Each is a part of what's made me to who I am and what I do.
I'm human.
I know I'll screw up more times than considerable, but I know that no matter what it will make me stronger.
I am who I am and I have to make that clear.
I may not be able to find the words to say, but don't underestimate what you don't know.
I am Shelby and that can never be changed.

The Beginning.

Well, I don't really know what to say.
I blog a lot about music and pictures--two of my favorite things.
I blog pretty regularly on my original page, but for some reason, I just wanted something a little new.
Fresh.
I am keeping my other page (http://shelb11.buzznet.com/user/), but I am starting this.
For the books, I will probably post the same blogs on both sites (just for the fact that I have readers both place [also, I'm not bragging on myself, I promise-just explaining! :D]).
To add to that, I will probably post more of my thoughts here.
I think a lot, I can't help it.
:)
Who knows, you may see some recipes on here too!
I hope you enjoy what you'll find here.
It's something that I'm passionate about, and I hope you like it!
Much love and see you soon.
-Shelby.