"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31
Waiting is a hard word for me.
Patience is one of those words that I don't like to hear or say.
Why? Well, it feels impossible for me to do it.
It's like being quiet--I'm not very good at it.
Especially when I get excited about something.
This verse in particular is near to my heart for a few reasons.
When I think of eagles, I think of my grandpa.
He had an obsession with them.
From paintings to statues, he had a plethora.
Sometimes they would stare at you, which was a little creepy.
Can you imagine hundreds of eyes of majesty STARING at you?
Ya know, it's been 10 years since I got to hear his voice.
That's a long time.
I know I talk about him a lot.
I mean, the man taught me how to weld when I was 6.
Of course he was holding my hands and made sure I didn't get any sparks on me.
How would he explain that to my parents if he had?
"Well, sparks flew EVERYWHERE. It was only a matter of time."
Lately, things like this have been on my mind a lot.
I guess it's just time to finally say some things about people I won't get to see for a long while.
Gramps, of course, was my best friend.
From the tapioca races at Furr's to watching hot air balloons take off in October.
I loved every moment.
He passed away August 14, 2002.
Another person who meant a lot to me was my Uncle Robert.
He's a little harder for me to talk about.
He always managed to find a way to make me laugh.
He had such an odd sense of humor.
Even though he graduated from Tech, I was still one of his biggest fans.
Seeing the joy in my grandma's and dad's faces when he walked across the stage was priceless.
Yes, I still have the bear he gave me that day, and yes, it DOES have a Tech sweater on it.
He also had this metal thing of people that you could stack them as high as they would balance.
He told me that without the metal base, they were worthless.
Like how we are without Jesus.
He always had a soft spot for me.
He pushed me to not care what people thought and to do what made me happy.
He passed away September 13, 2011.
I can remember that entire day.
I called my mom to ask her how everything was going and she asked me if I was able to sit down.
When she told me that he was sick the previous week, I couldn't stand.
The moment of dead silence was harder than the words.
I went back to my room and just sat there for at least an hour.
The bear was on my bed and I grabbed it, held it tight, and went to sleep.
Call me emotional, I don't care.
I was so numb that day.
You probably are asking yourself why in the world I'm typing this entire story.
Well, it's almost been a year since then, and I've barely been able to finally come to terms that some things can't be changed.
You can wish them away all you want, but they'll still be there when you turn around.
I think about these two everyday.
I even think about what if they were still here.
Crazy things come to mind.
I know that I will be able to walk with them once again, it just may be a while.
Thinking about that day brings me tears.
I smile and know that with all sadness is a God who can give me rest.
In Matthew 11:28, He says, "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Along with that, He tells us in Isaiah 41:13, "For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying unto you, 'Fear not; I will help you.'"
How great is that?
That is what got me through the times where I just wanted to fall to pieces.
He will put us on wings like eagles, renew us, and help us.
I have no words.